


Information Age

by hrotsvit



Category: Pride and Prejudice & Related Fandoms, Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, I have a linkedin but tbh I'm not quite sure how to use it, I'm bad at titles send help, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mrs. Bennet is bad at social media but are we surprised? No!, are they still a thing?, because Wickham exists :(, darcy is pretentious on the internet and no one is surprised, everyone else is there too I just don't want to overwhelm, formatting is a disaster sorry, possible overuse of twitter, slight references to grusk, using 2018 internet culture for this means it'll get dated real fast but oh well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 02:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15524286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hrotsvit/pseuds/hrotsvit
Summary: If a rich man insults your daughter and you don't scream about it on Nextdoor, did it really happen?(bits and pieces of a love story as overshared on the Internet)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> [Inspired by this tweet.](https://twitter.com/dunwaIl/status/1021850679437078528)

****Dear Prudence | Help! My College Nemesis Might Be Stalking My Sister.

**Q. Prom nightmare:** My father’s godson “Kyle” and I were extremely close growing up. My parents were much wealthier than Kyle’s and paid for him to attend the same prestigious boarding school that I did. His parents both died our senior year, and my parents funded Kyle’s college education. During college, my parents were killed in a car crash and I inherited both the family money and guardianship of my sister (10 years my junior). I invested $4000 in a startup Kyle proposed, but his plans failed due to his own negligence. While the financial loss was relatively insignificant to me, Kyle’s repeated demands for more money escalated to attempts at extortion until I cut off contact five years ago. I assumed (and hoped) that I would never hear from him again.

Unfortunately, Kyle somehow managed to get himself booked as the DJ at my sister’s senior prom last week. He spiked her drinks and attempted to assault her—luckily, my shift as a volunteer chaperone began shortly before he made his attempt, so I was able to stop him. When confronted, he admitted that he hoped to exact revenge on me and open new avenues for extortion. I’m now concerned about how I can hold Kyle accountable and prevent him from attempting to assault other women in the future. My sister was above the age of consent and the use of alcohol rather than roofies to impair her makes it difficult to pursue any legal action, especially because she would risk underage drinking charges in doing so. Any advice would be much appreciated.

 

“Celeria Autos Announces Headquarters in Ithaca,” _Ithaca Daily Courier_ , July 27

By Candace Long

Speaking at a Manhattan sustainability gala Thursday night, Celeria Autos CEO Charles Bingley announced his plan to place headquarters for the $274 million startup just outside Ithaca. Citing the natural beauty of the gorges and the wealth of human capital that area colleges provide, Bingley cheerfully assured reporters that operations at the site would begin by mid-August. The move follows the March introduction of a tax incentive for manufacturers of zero-emissions vehicles to move operations upstate and is expected to create over 300 jobs within the next year. 125th District Assemblywoman Rhonda Whellingham, who helped create the tax incentive, told the _Courier_ that “we’re obviously thrilled to be seeing such early results building the upstate economy, and we hope that more companies will follow Celeria’s lead. New York State boasts some of the best universities in the world, and would be an ideal hub for the kind of sustainability technology research and manufacturing that will bring us all into the future.”

 

⟰ Nextdoor

Frances Bennet, Ithaca

**Poll: My husband met Charles Bingley today to talk about solar power and I want him to invite him over to dinner so he can date my daughters but my husband says thats weird and invasive and he doesn’t knwo him that well**

Choose one:

  * yes
  * no




	2. angry reaccs only

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind feedback! Formatting is going to be messy, so hopefully I manage to make it clear what platforms are being used, etc. without distracting from the narrative.
> 
> Also, I have no idea if I'm supposed to reply to comments or if that's bad form/artificially inflates comment numbers.

lizard queen @blizkidz | Sep 7

brb weaponizing my ugliness to blind grouchy rich guys with :) :) :)

 

Celeria Autos @celeria_co | Sep 7

CEO Charles Bingley at Community Clean Water Action Fund annual fundraiser in Ithaca last night [7 photos]

 

c ♕ a ♕ r ♕ o @carooob | Sep 10

brother in love with some bland nerd and frats count as nightlife, free me from hicktown hell

 

**Charlotte Lucas** ➤ **Laura Lucas**

Sep 10 at 11:54 am

Happy birthday! Love you forever, thanks for being the best mom I could have asked for ♡

|

**Frances Bennet** Laura did you see!!!! Jane danced 4 times w charlse bingley & they kept sittinf down to talk!! i knew her looks wouldnt fail her anyways charlotte dear how is your job search going.. my hip hurts i think it will rain soon

 

**C. Marie Bingley** ➤ **Jane Bennet**

Sep 17 at 3:27 pm

You have such a good eye for design, come help me decorate our new place? We can have a girls’ night after, Charlie and Will are headed to some incredibly boring panel.

 |

**Jane Bennet** Sounds great! I have loads of face masks I’ve been waiting to try, I’ll bring them along.

 

NWS Binghamton @NWSBinghamton | Sep 17

BGM issues STRONG THUNDERSTORM WILL AFFECT, TOMPKINS COUNTY UNTIL 345 AM EDT till 3:45 AM EDT

 

NWS Binghamton @NWSBinghamton | Sep 17

Flash flood warning including Ithaca NY, Groton NY, Danby NY until 4:30 AM EDT

 

lyddie loves spencer @lydiduh | Sep 17

taking bets if jane gets murdered trapped in a mansion overnight

 

lyddie loves spencer @lydiduh | Sep 17

but also i would lowkey love to be trapped in a mansion w a hot guy

 

lyddie loves spencer @lydiduh | Sep 18

she didnt get murdered but she did get a concussion so guess she lives there now

 

lizard queen @blizkidz | Sep 18

descending into the belly of the beast bc I’m a good sister (the beast is capitalism)

 

c ♕ a ♕ r ♕ o @carooob | Sep 18

im a messy b but nowehre near as messy as eliza the mud princess okay

 

(7) LinkedIn

**Caroline Bingley** commented on this

**Fitzwilliam Darcy** ● 2nd

Chairman, Pemberly Foundation

We live in a society that has a tendency to over-praise the financially successful, assuming wealth is equal to worth. However, true success goes far beyond the contents of your bank account. Truly successful people, both within and without the business world, have a set of deeper and more enduring qualities that are not subject to the whims of the invisible hand of the market. From voracious reading to enthusiastic pursuit of new knowledge and skills, these people live vividly, thirsting for some greater light. Monetary concerns take a backseat as the mundane is abandoned ...see more

**Caroline Bingley**

Events Coordinator, Celeria Autos

I would argue that high-quality people are born, not made. People can read, be multilingual, pursue the arts, and more and still have something low and vulgar about them. The best people have something special inherent in their understanding of themselves—something noble in their carriage and conduct—that cannot be taught.

 

lizard queen @blizkidz | Sep 19

can i become illiterate just to spite someone

 

lyddie loves spencer @lydiduh | Sep 21

lol mom is mad that jane’s concussion healed

 

Celeria Autos @celeria_co | Sep 22

UPCOMING: Gala to celebrate the opening of Celeria’s Ithaca headquarters, September 27


	3. Connect with William Collins and 14 others on LinkedIn today!

**William Collins** is traveling to **Ithaca Tompkins Regional Airport** from **Philadelphia International Airport**

September 24 at 11:56 am ● Tinicum Township, PA

Excited to visit my second cousin thrice removed **Thomas Bennet** and his beautiful family!

 |

**Thomas Bennet** Sorry, when exactly did we agree on this?

**Frances Bennet** of course youre welcome to visit us william dear!!! its been 2 long since we saw any of the very extended family

 

**Frances Bennet**

September 24 at 1:17 pm

how many times removed cousins okay to marry

 |

**Kitty Bennet** mom this isn’t google (also, gross)

 

lyddie loves dennis @lydiduh | Sep 24

uve never been bored until uve heard mary argue with our rando cousin abt right to work laws

 

lizard queen @blizkidz | Sep 24

this man is straight up reading atlas shrugged out loud to the whole family at the dinner table

 

lizard queen @blizkidz | Sep 24

i didnt even know we owned a copy of atlas shrugged

 

lyddie loves dennis @lydiduh | Sep 24

apparently facetiming meggie when the dinner conversation gets too boring is Frowned Upon

 

**William Collins** ➤ **Elizabeth Bennet**

September 24 at 10:43 pm

My dear, *very* distant cousin, may I just remark on what a remarkable intellect you have. My esteemed CEO employs some of the very best lawyers, and though you are barely starting your second year of law school I see that same potential in you. It boggles the mind! Who knew that brains and beauty could coexist so wonderfully?

|

**Elizabeth Bennet** k thx

 

**George Wickham**

September 25 at 1:36 pm

Unfortunate how SOME PEOPLE will throw away common decency and shared background out of petty jealousy + try to ruin your good name whenever they see you just because they envy your success. Feeling sad and frustrated today!!

|

**Elizabeth Bennet** This doesn’t have anything to do with a certain grouchy someone, does it?

**George Wickham** I’d rather not talk about it in a public forum, but message me if you want to hear about it

 

lizard queen @blizkidz | Sep 25

wow scrooge mcgrouch is bringing some drama to the neighborhood idk if i should make popcorn or practice punching jaws

 

**Mary Bennet** ➤ **Charlie Bingley**

September 25 at 4:17 pm

I’ve noticed that Celeria workers haven’t unionized yet. In light of the recent unpleasantness with Tesla’s labor relations, particularly Grimes’ apparent support of union-busting, I just wanted to exhort you to voice your support for unionization at Celeria. As you may recall, I just began my MILR with a concentration on Collective Representation—I’m sure you’d be welcome to speak to my class about labor relations from a management viewpoint any time you wanted.

|

**C. Marie Bingley** Thank you so much for sharing your lovely opinion, I’m sure Charles will definitely consider it.

 

**Opening Gala**

Private ● Hosted by **Celeria Autos**

September 27 at 8:30 pm

237 going ● 27 maybe ● 400 invited

**Elizabeth** , **C. Marie** , and **17 other friends** are going


	4. press f to pay (dis)respects

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaaaaaack!
> 
> (names of internet strangers are made up, of course)

**George Wickham** and 17 others were  **drinking adult beverages** at  **1 OAK New York**

September 27 at 9:47 pm

 |

**Mark Denny** your presence was very missed here in Ithaca, if you know what I mean ;)

 

lyddie loves mark @lydiduh | Sep 27

gala is fancy af but did we have to bring rando cousin

 

lizard queen @blizkidz | Sep 27

can’t feel toes, v weird convo with rich guy, crush mysteriously absent, never going to anything social again 

 

lyddie loves mark @lydiduh | Sep 27

lol im so drnuk

 

c ♕ a ♕ r ♕ o @carooob | Sep 27

the girl who would be my rival if i was willing to lower myself to having rivals in ruritania is pining after a loser dj yesssssss

 

(14) LinkedIn

**William Collins** commented on this

**Fitzwilliam Darcy** ● 2nd

Chairman, Pemberly Foundation

Innovation is key in social enterprise. A recent trend has seen the rise of hybrid models that combine philanthropic goals with for-profit funding models to maximize flexibility in an increasingly complicated world. But how does one structure such an organization? This organizational structure is very new, and the legal system has not yet carved out a place for such models. To better understand the complexities facing such organizations, I recommend Battilana et al.’s classic piece in the Stanford Social Innovation Review, linked below.

**William Collins**

Accountant, Rosings + Park

My dear sir, it has just come to my attention that you are the nephew of my noble CEO,  the incomparable Catherine de Bourgh. What an honor it must be to be related to such a visionary—her artistry and business acumen are unmatched anywhere in this world. I am sure it was very intimidating to grow up with such a bright light as Ms. de Bourgh shining above you, but fear not—I realize now that you are the nephew she speaks so fondly of and that she has high hopes for a future business partnership. Would that I had known the relation earlier, I saw you briefly at the Celeria gala last night and regret missing the chance to tell you that your esteemed aunt and cousin are in good health and how greatly I admire your family as a whole. I hope that we shall meet again on the streets of Ithaca soon. 

 

⟰ Nextdoor

Frances Bennet, Ithaca

**Poll: when should jane marry charles bingley and how many children should they have**

Choose one:

  * they should
  * get married



 

**William Collins** ➤  **Elizabeth Bennet**

September 28 at 10:17 am

My most fetching cousin, Rosings + Park is in dire and immediate need of a PR specialist with legal background. When I heard the news, I of course thought of you. While I realize you are only just beginning your second year of law school, your brilliance and charm combine with decent understanding of the law to make you the ideal candidate. I am sure Ms. de Bourgh will be thoroughly charmed by your abilities, and, should you decide to complete your legal studies, she will almost certainly sponsor your transfer to part-time study at Penn Law. I look forward to seeing you in Dover.

 |

**Elizabeth Bennet** I’m flattered by the job offer, but I would really rather stay in Ithaca to finish my degree. You must understand—the professors I’m working with here already know and respect me, and it would be irresponsible to switch schools in the middle of second year.

**Frances Bennet** young lady do you really think your in a position to be turning down job offers!! just look at charlotte lucas she finished law school three years ago and stil l works at starbucks taht’s YOU in a few years missy!!!!

**Charlotte Lucas** Speaking of me, I do have a law degree and am underemployed. Willing to relocate as necessary, message me  **William** . 

 

c ♕ a ♕ r ♕ o @carooob | Sep 29

very drunk and very desperate

 

**C. Marie Bingley** ➤  **Elitist Memes for Every Ivy League Teen**

September 29 at 2:23 am

Not a meme but I NEED HELP. Man of my dreams, Harvard legacy, super-WASP but in a hot way, is maybe in love with some upstart new money trash who goes to CORNELL?? And my brother who’s also a Harvard man is definitely in love with her sister who also goes to...you guessed it...cornell! As we all know on this page Cornell is a FAKE IVY not worthy of inclusion among the others. How do I stop the two most importnat men in my life from throwing away their future childrens’ legacy status on dumb flirty cornell chicks???????

 |

**Polly Liu** girl u kno the fake ivy thing is a joke right

**Marcus Fenwick** uhhhhhhhhhh u went to brown isn’t that also a fake ivy?? if we’re taking this seriously

**Katja Esper** thanks for the new copypasta girl

 

(22) LinkedIn

Congratulate Charlotte Lucas for  **starting a new position** as Legal PR Manager at Rosings + Park

 

**C. Marie Bingley** ➤  **Jane Bennet**

Sep 30 at 4:57 pm

Jane dear, I’m so sorry about the short notice, but it looks like we’ll be moving back down to the city at least until Easter. Ithaca is a lovely place for Celeria’s headquarters, but the social and philanthropic scene really can’t compete with Manhattan, I’m sure you understand. I will miss you, be sure to message occasionally!

 |

**Jane Bennet** Oh, enjoy the city! I’ll let you know if I ever drive down there, I’m sure we’ll visit at some point over the holidays. 


End file.
